Finally getting into the routine...

These first couple of weeks with the kids back to school have been taking some getting used to. I finally think my family is getting the routine down and running smoothly. We've coordinated the morning wake up, breakfast, showers, and getting out of the house on time by staggering the time intervals. It starts from 5am until I leave the house at 8:50! Four people to take care of and it takes almost 4 hours! No wonder us moms are so tired! By the time I leave for work, I've already put in half a days work! After my paying job, I come home to more scheduling and coordinating of homework, dinner after school activities, relaxing time, cleaning, preparing for the next day and before you know it, it's 9pm! Sounds like plenty of time to sleep, but that's when I get time to myself to catch up on dishes, balancing the checkbook, paying bills and laundry! Every day should be mother's day! We work so hard!

the day we will never forget...

I thankfully did not know anyone personally or have an incredible story of a near miss. But I still sit today and reflect - as I'm sure we all are. I think back to what I was doing that day, where I was when I first heard what was happening. You couldn't make phone calls on land lines or cell phones because the lines were tied up with families struggling to find out if their loved ones were ok. We heard stories of families saying "I love you" for the last time. These stories still make me well up with tears. I am thankful I didn't have to be one of those people but I pray and cry for those that did. We didn't turn off the television for days, just watching all the news coverage. The gruesome pictures embedded permanently into memory. Bless everyone, those who were lost, those who lost, those who helped and those of us still remembering so that we may never forget.

i'm a bad mom...

I wake up early, make you breakfast, wake you up gently at first then more forceful since you don't wake up easily, pack your lunch, make sure you have everything you need, tell you where your sneakers are, remind you to brush your teeth and hair, and even make your bed. When you come home I greet you with a smile and an after-school snack. I ask you about your day, if you have any homework or if you need help. I wash your favorite jeans so you can wear them again tomorrow. I sign your test papers and prepare your dinner. I drive you to a friends house and pick you up after an hour. I help you pack for the next day and ask what you'll want for breakfast. I give you your space to unwind until it's time for bed. At that time, I tuck you in, tell you I love you and say goodnight.
This is what most moms do. I however am getting tired of the thankless job of which all you do is give me an attitude. You yell at me that I'm too intrusive or butting into your life. I see mistakes in your homework and I try to help, but you tell me I'm too involved.
I always thought I was doing right by my kids but I guess I was wrong.

This morning totally sucked....

Wow what a change from yesterday! The excitement is over and the tired kids emerged. It was like pulling teeth waking them up. It's worse for my son as he has to get up and get ready while it's still totally dark outside. Ok, fine, they're tired - but do they have to be so obnoxious? I told him his breakfast was ready and he literally growled at me! I am not a patient person, nor will I tolerate you taking some mood out on me. I growled back at him and he cried. This is a kid in high school throwing a fit like a toddler. We went back in forth until I snapped and gave him a good whack upside his head! I screamed for him to grow up and realize that waking up this early is how it is, so deal with it! What a bitter start to the day which will stay with me. I'm already playing out different scenarios of how to talk to him when he gets home. ugh

First day of school...

Today was the first day of school for mine and a few other districts in the area. My oldest started his first year of high school and my youngest, her last year of elementary. We had everything ready the day/night before - lunches, backpacks packed, clothes, hair cuts and styles, etc. I woke up earlier than I'm used to, in order to make a very (not) nutritional breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage and fried hash browns! They were both great for the most part. Granted they don't like getting up early but they are always excited to see their friends again and wear the new clothes they got. Both got to school on time and I got to sit and drink my coffee for a few minutes before having to get ready for work. I did cry - like I do every year - but it's always tears of pride and joy! Seeing my "babies" walk towards more independence and freedom with the last words "Bye Mom." (sniff, sniff)

Haven't written in awhile...

I just found a piece of paper that I had written the dates and ages of my children in order to figure out when I could go back to work full time. I wrote this "time-line" 4 years ago...and just realized that this is the year that I was supposed to find a "real" job! I just can't see putting in a full time work week with all the activities and time I put into my family. As the children have gotten older, it seems they actually need me more! I need to know whose house they are going to, who the parents are, if they need a ride, when they'll be back, what time is practice, if the homework is done, spend time with grandma, who are they friends with, who aren't they friends with anymore, etc. I'm constantly asking questions, and getting involved in what they are doing so that hopefully it will keep them safe and out of trouble. I can't imagine dropping all that time for conversation to take an hour commute to my full time job. Sigh, there will always be time for work, but my children are growing up way too fast!

Feeling too old....

My youngest turned 10 yesterday. Last night we had the family over for dinner and cake. Today we had a friend party for her. We invited her closest friends (which turned out to be 14 girls) to get manicures at a local salon, walk next door for pizza, then back to my house for cake, movies and a sleepover. Many parents have commented how crazy I am, including my own mother! I feel that birthdays should be made as special as possible and it's a short-lived occasion. I try my best to make my kids feel special on their birthdays. Somehow I always see to overwhelm myself. It seems like a good idea on paper, but when it's actually happening I get filled with anxiety.
Thank goodness I am in the home stretch now as I write this. They are quietly watching the second movie and I am on my second beer! I know it's terrible, but it takes the edge off and helps me relax after all the chaos of the last 6 hours!
Tomorrow, I will make them a nice breakfast, drink plenty of coffee and then take a nap!