Back to a less stressful week! First job is well, which gives me peace of mind to come home and do all the things I need to do there. I like to come home and put my music on to get the chores done. Music is my vice. I listen to anything, depending on my mood. If everything is stressful, I tend to put on heavier music. If I'm in a good mood, I like to dance! I'll put on any genre that will make me get up and dance - even on the coffee table! Today when Hannah got home, I put on Sexy Chick and we danced around the living room without a care in the world! That (to me) is what life's all about!

So what I needed! After a long work week, being away from the family, all the preparations....the class is finally over! I did well, which just reiterates that if you set your mind to do something - it WILL work out for you! So tonight to celebrate, I had some moms over for some girl talk. Laughter is the best medicine. Having strong women around you that are going through similar struggles helps so much! Thank you all for a wonderful night! Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone! I love you all!

calm

I woke up today thinking that I was taking things too hard and stressing myself out. Just breathe...I went about my day, getting the kids ready for school, then myself ready for work. Off to work - where chaos is welcomed because the time flies! Ran home walked the dog and studied for the test. Again, just trying to breathe and not stress too much. Listened to some hard music on the way to class to get the anger and bitter out. Well, not only did I pass the test, but I got 100%!!!!! Yay me! I really am proud of myself because it's the small things that make all this work worthwhile.
After class I went home and proceeded to get caught up on emails, pta stuff, packing lunches for tomorrow, and before I knew it it was after 11pm. If I fall asleep in the next hour I will get about 7 hours of sleep and start all over again! Ya'll know what I'm talking about!

2 days down and I'm about to give up!

I'm so frustrated with this class. I'm extremely opinionated and strong-willed. If I don't agree with what is being said - especially if I'm confident that my argument is strong, I will speak up. I'm not an ignorant person - don't treat me as though I am. I've been through alot in my life and you shouldn't underestimate me. So, why do I take crap from so many people? Why am I working in these entry level jobs that I'm overqualified for, that barely help pay the bills, that take me away from my family? I need to make a change. I need to start looking for something better. It's not necessarily the pay, it's the quality of life. I don't feel fulfilled in what I'm doing. I don't feel respected or utilized to the best of my abilities. I'm scared because the job market is so bad, and I'm definitely thankful that I have a job (two actually), but there's got to be something better out there.

1 day down 4 more to go! The day went pretty smoothly. I got everyone out in the morning, went to work, came home walked the dog, picked up the girl scout stuff for the meeting, dropped it off at the school, then went off to class until 10pm. I will continue to pat myself of the back at the end of each day!

I can't stand it when someone treats me poorly based on their impression of me. I do look younger than I am, but that doesn't mean I'm an idiot or uneducated. I tried my best to bite my tongue, but I've been treated like this for so many years that I've built up this defensive attitude. I hate this about myself! I know who I am, what I've experienced and what I've become...that should be good enough.

next week

This anxiety is driving me crazy! I wish next week was over already! So much going on with all the regular stuff, the kids, the house, schedules, work - but on top of all that, I'm talking a course that runs every day next week from 3-11pm. I've been frantically cooking in advance, rearranging schedules to fit the childcare needs, etc. I'm tired and stressed just thinking about it. I try to just keep reminding myself: I know I'll get through it. Everything will work out fine. Just breathe.

So last night, my 8 year old daughter asked to have a sleepover. Both my husband and I have to work so we said not tonight. She proceeds to tells me (in front of her friend)that she's "depressed" because mommy and daddy work so much she never gets to do anything!
I was instantly embarrassed, ashamed and furious all at the same time! She didn't say we work so much and she never gets to see us! Doesn't she realize that we are working like crazy because we HAVE to, not because we WANT to?
I ended up waiting until the friend went home to talk with her. I'm glad I did because it seemed to go smoothly. We'll see if the attitude changes!

ok

so I need to get everything ready for next week because it's going to be crazy! I'm going for training (paid thank god!) for medication administering, while working the day and weekend jobs! I get so much anxiety just thinking about it! I try to just breathe and take it one day at a time! I'll plan meals for the week, maybe even make some ahead of time and put them in the freezer. Don't get me wrong, my husband can cook, it's just that I don't want the kids to eat right before going to bed! I know I'm a control freak, but I feel like I just want what's best for everybody - of course (as always) at my expense!

Welcome!

Thanks for reading my blog! I'm just starting out and I'm hoping this ends up helping me and other women see that we are all stressing over the same things, maybe bounce ideas off of one another and really just find a sense of solidarity!