We did it!

Wow I can't believe I haven't written since August! A lot has happened since then! I was getting ready for a week's vacation with the family - which turned out to be wonderfully restful, relaxing and fun! My husband and I were conceding defeat once again, that we wouldn't be able to finish our house. Well, September rolls around, the kids start school and BAM our house is being worked on! Long story short, we got a great reference who came out with a great price and was able to start right away! Passers by couldn't believe how fast the second floor went up! (We couldn't believe it either)It was just so nice to see our kids' faces when they came home from school! It was a dream for all of us that was finally becoming a reality. Time has passed and the initial shock has worn off but we are all still very excited to move forward. The outside of the house is finally finished after 7 years! We are planning on taking a break through the winter and moving slowly on the inside because of birthdays and Christmas. We hope to be fully moved in by the Spring.

It's the most wonderful time of the year....

It's almost time for the kids to go back to school! While this summer has flown by, I still can't wait to get back into a routine! I've already started school supply shopping and hope to finish by next week. I'm waiting until the last minute for clothes because as history tells me, the kids will outgrow the clothes within the first month of school! I'm almost set with my girl scout meetings for the year and my PTA involvement will significantly decrease now that the kids are older. I've started thinking about what I should be doing with all my freed-up time. I would love to go back to school myself, but don't know if I can afford it. Maybe I can volunteer more or get involved in something else to feed my spirit....only time will tell!

Reflecting.....

Today I had a nice visit from my parents, grandmother, brother, aunt and cousins. After the chaos died down, I started to think about my life and what I've made of it so far. On a bad day, I can easily complain that my house still isn't finished therefore, I don't have enough room to entertain overnight guests. I can bitch and moan that my kids' friends can't come over because they'll see that we live in a smaller house. I whine that I the completed house I want isn't lavish but enough for our needs - but yet we still don't have it. On a good day, I realize that my house has been a "home" since we lived here. Our guests have always felt welcome and even with some crowding and maneuvering, have stayed overnight in comfort. I think back to my parents struggling to give me the same homey feeling which they never realized I always felt. I am grateful for that. I am also grateful that (I think) my kids feel the same way, and that I had something to do with that.

Music helps...

Wow this has been a crazy ride of ups and downs emotionally! I've made sure I've been exercising and taking vitamins, but I haven't been able to shake the slump I've been in. I'm sure everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about! Anyway, today I finally figured out what works for me! I have the music blasting and I'm dancing around the living room with my daughter - dancing our cares away! Actually, dancing is exercise which is also why it helps me. I'm just letting the music pour through me and get lost in it, singing at the top of my lungs! Next time you're feeling low, having "one of those days", turn the music up and get your silly on!

If I don't laugh, I'll cry...

Tonight we spent the evening with neighbors. People, just like us, who are are through some shit. Sometimes it's good to see other situations to help realize that you're not alone. In this case, we were able to just hang out and vent our problems, then put them aside to enjoy the small stuff - like good friends, our health and a wonderful evening with good people!

This was going to be my year...

I had some crazy idea at the beginning of 2012 that this was going to be a great year. We were working hard, enabling us to pay down some credit card debt. We were able to send our daughter to camp and our son to another country. We applied for the permit to continue working on our house and obtained certificates of occupancy on the work we had already done. Our jobs were good, the money was coming in. Our community is great, we have wonderful friends surrounding us and our kids seem happy. I still believe this is our year, but with extenuating circumstances, we are nowhere near where we were just a month ago. It's important to remember that life is going to have it's ups and downs. Unfortunately we are in a "down" moment. I still feel very fortunate and know that things will get better. I think I will take my kayak out tomorrow on the lake just across the street and revel in the beauty and appreciate the small things.

little bit of good news

When everything around me seems to be going wrong, one little glimmer of hope peeked through yesterday. When the housing market crashed in 2006, so did our dreams of finishing building our house. Thankfully we made great progress in the year prior, but the second floor with our bedrooms got put on the back-burner for now six years! Well, yesterday, we were issued the building permit to finish the house! I'm so excited even though we barely have the money to do it! It will be good for us to have this project again. Building a house can put a ton of strain on a marriage but my husband and I work pretty well together. Plus this gives us something to look forward to - a finally complete house.

What to do when you've lost one income...

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When your husband is out on strike, no money is coming in and your health insurance is gone - buy a kayak! This is our situation right now and with everything else that's going on, I splurged on something to help keep the demons away. I'm not advocating spending frivolously but I do recognize the need to detach from reality. In all seriousness, it's been scary without his income but we know it's temporary. I am just one of those people who can't dwell on the situation and needs to focus of the positive just to get through the day.

What an end to a pretty good day...

I'm still debating whether or not to change jobs. I'm not ready to go back to school and change careers, it's more of a "job" for now. I've realized that since my kids are older now, I can go back to work full time. My family can definitely use the money! I go through ups and downs at my current job (as we all do). I only work part time but the hourly rate is pretty decent. There isn't room to grow with this company as it's pretty small, but it's convenient to home and the hours are flexible. The real downside is that many of the people I work with have no sense of professionalism whatsoever! I have problems. We all have problems. I take whatever is going on inside my head and leave it at the door when I go to work. This, to me, is a basic skill of workplace etiquette and unfortunately many at my small office do not possess this skill. We have one who slams doors, another who constantly complains that she hates her job and wants to be fired (if she quit she wouldn't collect unemployment). The owners of the company don't set a great example either, with constant mood swings that can make any employee go mad or even want to quit. I usually walk around with a smile and a sarcastic joke to lighten the mood. Who wants to be round so much negativity? Anyway, one person (not mentioned above - yes ANOTHER person) has decided to make me their target. They like to think that they can tell you what your job is and how to do it - all with an attitude. I don't answer to them. I refuse to be treated with such hostility that comes from nowhere. This person has already been reprimanded for their behavior and the way they talk to others but I fear it's just getting worse. I'm not sure what my next step should be. The only person above me is the owner. If I go to her and report the latest problems, do I look like a tattle-tale? Should I pull this person aside and kill them with kindness asking what can we do to resolve whatever the issue is? Should I take them out back and kick the crap out of them? Not sure, but the last one seems like the most fun for me! Unfortunately their are going to be assholes wherever I work but I'm not sure in such a small space I can take it anymore...

How precious life is....

My sister-in-law (my sister) was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. My heart goes out to her and hurts for her. Thankfully it was caught early and the prognosis is favorable. But the initial shock hasn't yet worn off. 1 in 5 women are diagnosed whether you have a family history of breast cancer or NOT. Get tested, get a mammogram, be proactive. It will save your life!

Letting go...

My oldest (my baby) is visiting a very close family friend in another country. Thankfully, in this technological era, I am able to video chat with him daily. My kids have been away from me before and enjoyed the freedom of a child-free house and had more time to spend with my husband. This is different. I can't just get in the car and see him. My faith is in my friend to watch over him in this foreign place. I stayed up all night watching his plane via radar until it landed safely. He is having a wonderful time but I am a mother and will always be - therefore - I worry.

PTA involvement...

The end of another milestone year as my youngest moves on from elementary to middle school. My involvement has been incredible as I have visited the school daily, talking with teachers and administrators, keys to the PTA closet, fund-raising duties, endless emails and phone calls, etc. All for the on magical moment of seeing my baby march across the stage into her new time of development. The work was hard but so very worth it. I'm so proud of her and her classmates, my co-parents and our guidance in making this transition memorable. I will look upon these days fondly and will cherish them forever.

Time for change

No this is not the Presidents speech - it's my deciding whether I should go back to work full time. The opportunity has now crossed my path and I need to get up the nerve to jump in. I'm pretty sure I'm ready, but it still scares me to to think how I can manage all that I'm doing now with increased hours. I know I shouldn't complain. There are many people still out of work. I think I'm going to go for it. My family could use the money and I'm good at what I do. I only have a few weeks left of Elementary school PTA (which is crazy demanding) so I should be good to go from then on. I hope this works and I hope I can stay sane through the transition!

Firsts....Lasts...

My youngest is about to finish elementary school and while this has been a roller coast year and I thought I was so ready for the next step - I find myself starting to get emotional about all the "lasts" we're going through. I'm tired of all the fund-raising; the bake sales, car washes, pasta dinners, soliciting of donations, etc. I'm tired of all the parent volunteering and involvement. I feel like 5th grade consumes more of my time than my paying job! I've been quoted saying "I'm so done with this school." But just as life flashes before your eyes, I'm staring to get mushy and sad about the end of these things. No. I don't want to do them anymore, but "I'm never going to do them again" is weighing heavily on my heart and mind. My daughter is growing up. I will never have to do ____ again. I'm starting to have nightmares and crying fits in the middle of the day. It's so bittersweet. While I'm glad the demands on my time are coming to an end, I'm starting to feel sad that my needs (in that way) are no longer needed. I will just be another house on the street - not Mrs. ____'s house. I'm crying as I write this... I'm happy for my children to grow up and become their own responsible adults, but I'm sad to see into the future where one day, they'll fly the coop.

Great read!

Upon recommendation from a very close friend, (and fellow scary mommy) I just read "Scary Mommy" This was a great read for all mommies out there! I had some wonderful belly laughs and some tears - but best of all, it was an awesome feeling that I am not alone out there! I find that as moms we are a special breed. We have been through hell and back and have lived to talk about it! There are stories that I could tell, that I am not entirely proud of, but I know someone else has probably gone through the same thing. We should stand together - and not judge each other! My kid can be just as gross as yours! We should sit down together, have a glass of wine and laugh about our craziness! It's for our own sanity to take comfort in friends and other scary mommies. I encourage you to read this book, have some laughs and relax - God knows WE deserve it! http://www.scarymommy.com/

that one parent that just gets under your skin...

Let me start by saying that the group of parents that are helping with 5th grade activities and fund-raisers this year are great and plentiful! It really has been a great turn out, with many hands making for much lighter work! We just held our annual family dinner where the 5th graders serve their families and anyone else from the school that wants to participate. The many moms (and some dads) that worked their butts off gathering donations, securing permits, sending countless emails, and selling raffle tickets in order for the night to go off without a hitch - are relieved that it's over. Not only that, but it went well! The kids were great, bellies were full and we made an outstanding profit to help with our moving up activities!
Now turning to the dark side... I'm sure there's always one of these parents out there but that doesn't make it easier to deal with. There is a mom who feels the need to criticize and compare every event we've hosted! She had the nerve to say that our dinner was the most poorly run event she'd seen! How dare she! The kids did great, we made a better profit than previous years and......oh yeah, SHE DIDN'T LIFT ONE FINGER TO HELP!!!! I'm sorry but if you think you can do a better job than the rest of us - then by all means, get off your ass and do something!

Ugh!

I just need to vent - I love my grandmother to pieces but does she think I'm just sitting around eating bon-bons all day? I don't have time to chat on the phone for hours. She asks if I called that distant relative to see how they are doing lately! Umm, no, I didn't get to it with the million other things I've been doing. If I make it through this week alive, I'll call them! I know we are all busy moms - and at one point many years ago, she was too. This week alone has me running more errands for girl scouts and PTA functions that are happening on the weekend - than I even do for my own family! I can't wait until this week is over so I can catch up on my regular chores then I'll think about calling those people gram...

Spring is finally here!

I love this time of year, not only for the better weather but for being able to start my vegetable garden. Usually by now, I've started seeds inside, but this year time escaped me. Instead, I started today by turning over the soil in my existing garden bed, and using an edger and rototiller to start a second planting bed. I planted different types of tomatoes, beans, squash, carrots, lettuce, onions, radishes, eggplant and some other miscellaneous veggies. I hope that by starting from seed this late will still return some great produce!

who am I...

I am a wife, mother, billing coordinator, volunteer, writer, advice-giver, taxi driver, schedule maker, keeper of all things possible, etc. But, first and foremost I am a woman - strong, powerful, and emotional. I have to go back to the basics to find the real me. I get so caught up with all the things I need to do to take care of my family, job and responsibilities, that I sometimes have to remember who I am... I am proud to be a woman - so capable of so much. I believe in feminism. I once marched on the Washington Mall for woman's rights. I've protested companies that had ties to any kind of suffering. I like to read about what's going on in the world - and try my best to be an active member of trying to change things. I hold a bachelor's degree in Community and Human Services. I like to help and encourage strength for people to help themselves. I'm an avid animal lover and don't believe in shelters that kill. I financially and morally support several organizations that I believe in. I believe that one person can change the world. I actually enjoy my role as a girl scout leader to positively make a difference in young girls' lives. I also believe that THEY can change the world. I am woman, hear ME roar!
One of my most favorite pieces of writing is something I found over 20 years ago: "Because woman's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get the sack and what we look like is more important than what we do.......and for lots and lots of other reasons we are part of the women's liberation movement." (Author unknown to me)

career change...

I recently found a scrap of paper where I had written a 5 year plan for myself. At the time, my kids were younger and needed more supervision. Granted, as they get older, I am finding that they still need supervision but of a different nature! Back then, I had to make sure I or someone else was there to get them on and off the bus. They were also too young to stay home alone. I started working part time in order to meet these needs. My 5 year plan said that once my oldest was old enough to watch my younger one, I would go back to work full time. Well that was more than 5 years ago and I'm pretty comfortable where I am at work. My family could always use the extra money and by working full time, I could start contributing to my own retirement. At this point, a few extra hours out of the house wouldn't harm my kids....so what am I so afraid of? Change is scary and with this economy I should be grateful I at least have a job. I may have to start looking because before I know it, they'll be off to college and I won't have any excuse!

making money online

I have recently found some sites that ask you to take surveys, watch videos, complete tasks, etc. These sites allow you to earn points that can be redeemed for electronic gift cards to hundreds of online stores. I have become a little obsessed and log in to my account several times a day, from my computer, tablet, and phone! It's great because it seems like free money, but when you really track how much time your spending versus how much you're actually making - it doesn't really add up. For example, if it takes even 1 hour to earn enough points for a $5 gift card, you could work at a fast food restaurant and make more than that! It's not all bad though. If you work these sites strictly in your spare time and let the points add up, you can definitely reap some benefits. The real money to make online is out there, but I just haven't figured it all out yet!

bad day at work

I am one of the few people in my office that actually like their job. Sad for the others, but good for me. It makes a bad day at the office somewhat bearable. I fell into this job. It's not what I went to school for, but it's a short drive from my home and it's part time with some flexiblity with hours. It truly is a dream "mom job". Anyway, today really sucked because it was super busy and my boss was all over me. I am one of those people who works well with others but better when focused and left alone without too many distractions. I had such a hard time today keeping my concentration and getting my work done without getting filled with anxiety and stress. I am proud to admit, I kept my cool and completed everything that was asked - and all it took was some deep breathing and mantra reciting, to bring me back to a quiet place. It really helped lower my stress level and get better aim on my focus. Anxiety is very troubling for me and situations like these make it all the more upsetting - but only if I let it!