I'm losing it....

While Thanksgiving was great, celebrating with family and friends and being thankful for everyone and everything around me, today was a horrible day. I am a very organized person. I write everything down, keep track of birthdays, parties, gifts, shopping lists, inventory, schedules even oil changes and house repairs. My motto is "If I don't have it written down, it doesn't exist!" Well, I'm afraid to say I screwed up three different times today. This is so unlike me that I feel like something is wrong with me. I had the wrong location for my daughters 2.5 hour Nutcracker rehearsal. I remembered (amazing!) that I had forgotten to get a gift for a party we attended four weeks ago. (The party was during the historic NY snowstorm Halloween weekend and stores were closed, so we went to the party with a card and an I.O.U.) I finally remembered to fulfill the I.O.U only this morning - because I hadn't written it down. The last crazy thing I did today was to put some crescent rolls in the toaster oven then walk away until the smoke alarms went off! They were black and smoke filled the kitchen. This was my breaking point. Mind you, I got my period this morning so I'm usually emotional, but this was just too much. My game is off...my mind is off. Something just isn't right. Maybe it's just too much in a short period of time. Maybe it's just too much for one person to handle. What I'm most scared about is that maybe it's my brain saying it's just too much for me. I've had anxiety issues and heart palpitations but always trudge through it because - let's be realistic - who else is going to do it? I am truly scared by so many mistakes in one day. It's just not like me. Unfortunately my husband doesn't share my concern but it's definitely a lot for me. Like I said before, I am a very well organized person.

The great cell phone debate....

How old is old enough for your child to have a cell phone? I don't know the answer to this but I will tell you that my children have had them since they were about 8. My daughter who is only 10 now put her cell phone to great use tonight and I thank God she had one! It was one of those crazy evenings where my husband was at work late, my son at a boy scout meeting and I had to go to PTA. I left my daughter with the neighbors figuring my husband would be home before I was to get her. A small miss communication turned into a frantic call from my 10 year old saying that she came home to find the door locked and nobody home. I stayed on the phone with her as I darted out of the PTA meeting and drove well beyond the speed limit to get to her. She was standing at the front door in pitch darkness except for one small porch light. We hugged and cried and vowed to never let it happen again! The old fashioned way of preparedness is to hide a spare key. Well we do have one hidden, but in all that darkness she was too afraid to go get it - and I can't blame her. If she hadn't had her phone, I would hope that she would have run back to the neighbors and banged on their door. But the fact is - that she did have one and I could come to her aid. A cheap little pre-paid phone gave us both a little comfort in an othwise very scary night!

I do not envy single working parents...

Wow it's been over a month since I've written last. As all of you busy moms out there know, time is just escaping me. Every weekday is filled with the morning hustle, then off to work then all the late afternoon chauffeuring, cooking, prepping, homework, etc. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining because I know we're all in the same boat. My husband is working a lot of overtime, which is great financially for us, but for the last three weeks I feel like a single parent. He leaves work before I wake up and gets home when the rest of us are ready for bed. I have to say, I've always thought a single parent has it tough, but I've never expected this. Every detail falls on me. There is no one to share responsibilities with. What's worse is when my daughter has to go to the neighbors house because I'm still at work and then my son calls saying he needs a ride home from football practice. You have to mentally be in several places at one time and sometimes it's asked of you to physically be in those different places. Impossible.
I have found that living this way has a few pros and cons. Pros: Financially we are doing better, and my husband and I really miss each other and are spending more quality time together. Cons: My body is physically exhausted at the end of each day. My husband and I sometimes only see each other once or twice a week.
We will continue down this road as long as we can ride it. While people are still losing their jobs, overtime is a blessing. We will continue to work at our marriage and I will find ways to lean on friends and neighbors to help take a load off. I am truly thankful that I have a great community of friends that all help each other and look out for one another.
I have a new found respect and bow down to those single parents that are doing it all. It is very difficult and you are incredible!

Finally getting into the routine...

These first couple of weeks with the kids back to school have been taking some getting used to. I finally think my family is getting the routine down and running smoothly. We've coordinated the morning wake up, breakfast, showers, and getting out of the house on time by staggering the time intervals. It starts from 5am until I leave the house at 8:50! Four people to take care of and it takes almost 4 hours! No wonder us moms are so tired! By the time I leave for work, I've already put in half a days work! After my paying job, I come home to more scheduling and coordinating of homework, dinner after school activities, relaxing time, cleaning, preparing for the next day and before you know it, it's 9pm! Sounds like plenty of time to sleep, but that's when I get time to myself to catch up on dishes, balancing the checkbook, paying bills and laundry! Every day should be mother's day! We work so hard!

the day we will never forget...

I thankfully did not know anyone personally or have an incredible story of a near miss. But I still sit today and reflect - as I'm sure we all are. I think back to what I was doing that day, where I was when I first heard what was happening. You couldn't make phone calls on land lines or cell phones because the lines were tied up with families struggling to find out if their loved ones were ok. We heard stories of families saying "I love you" for the last time. These stories still make me well up with tears. I am thankful I didn't have to be one of those people but I pray and cry for those that did. We didn't turn off the television for days, just watching all the news coverage. The gruesome pictures embedded permanently into memory. Bless everyone, those who were lost, those who lost, those who helped and those of us still remembering so that we may never forget.

i'm a bad mom...

I wake up early, make you breakfast, wake you up gently at first then more forceful since you don't wake up easily, pack your lunch, make sure you have everything you need, tell you where your sneakers are, remind you to brush your teeth and hair, and even make your bed. When you come home I greet you with a smile and an after-school snack. I ask you about your day, if you have any homework or if you need help. I wash your favorite jeans so you can wear them again tomorrow. I sign your test papers and prepare your dinner. I drive you to a friends house and pick you up after an hour. I help you pack for the next day and ask what you'll want for breakfast. I give you your space to unwind until it's time for bed. At that time, I tuck you in, tell you I love you and say goodnight.
This is what most moms do. I however am getting tired of the thankless job of which all you do is give me an attitude. You yell at me that I'm too intrusive or butting into your life. I see mistakes in your homework and I try to help, but you tell me I'm too involved.
I always thought I was doing right by my kids but I guess I was wrong.

This morning totally sucked....

Wow what a change from yesterday! The excitement is over and the tired kids emerged. It was like pulling teeth waking them up. It's worse for my son as he has to get up and get ready while it's still totally dark outside. Ok, fine, they're tired - but do they have to be so obnoxious? I told him his breakfast was ready and he literally growled at me! I am not a patient person, nor will I tolerate you taking some mood out on me. I growled back at him and he cried. This is a kid in high school throwing a fit like a toddler. We went back in forth until I snapped and gave him a good whack upside his head! I screamed for him to grow up and realize that waking up this early is how it is, so deal with it! What a bitter start to the day which will stay with me. I'm already playing out different scenarios of how to talk to him when he gets home. ugh

First day of school...

Today was the first day of school for mine and a few other districts in the area. My oldest started his first year of high school and my youngest, her last year of elementary. We had everything ready the day/night before - lunches, backpacks packed, clothes, hair cuts and styles, etc. I woke up earlier than I'm used to, in order to make a very (not) nutritional breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage and fried hash browns! They were both great for the most part. Granted they don't like getting up early but they are always excited to see their friends again and wear the new clothes they got. Both got to school on time and I got to sit and drink my coffee for a few minutes before having to get ready for work. I did cry - like I do every year - but it's always tears of pride and joy! Seeing my "babies" walk towards more independence and freedom with the last words "Bye Mom." (sniff, sniff)

Haven't written in awhile...

I just found a piece of paper that I had written the dates and ages of my children in order to figure out when I could go back to work full time. I wrote this "time-line" 4 years ago...and just realized that this is the year that I was supposed to find a "real" job! I just can't see putting in a full time work week with all the activities and time I put into my family. As the children have gotten older, it seems they actually need me more! I need to know whose house they are going to, who the parents are, if they need a ride, when they'll be back, what time is practice, if the homework is done, spend time with grandma, who are they friends with, who aren't they friends with anymore, etc. I'm constantly asking questions, and getting involved in what they are doing so that hopefully it will keep them safe and out of trouble. I can't imagine dropping all that time for conversation to take an hour commute to my full time job. Sigh, there will always be time for work, but my children are growing up way too fast!

Feeling too old....

My youngest turned 10 yesterday. Last night we had the family over for dinner and cake. Today we had a friend party for her. We invited her closest friends (which turned out to be 14 girls) to get manicures at a local salon, walk next door for pizza, then back to my house for cake, movies and a sleepover. Many parents have commented how crazy I am, including my own mother! I feel that birthdays should be made as special as possible and it's a short-lived occasion. I try my best to make my kids feel special on their birthdays. Somehow I always see to overwhelm myself. It seems like a good idea on paper, but when it's actually happening I get filled with anxiety.
Thank goodness I am in the home stretch now as I write this. They are quietly watching the second movie and I am on my second beer! I know it's terrible, but it takes the edge off and helps me relax after all the chaos of the last 6 hours!
Tomorrow, I will make them a nice breakfast, drink plenty of coffee and then take a nap!

I need sleep!

I'm at work for the seventh day in a row. Granted some of the days are only half days, but getting up early every morning is really taking a toll on my body and mind. I feel tired all over. My brain is tired from thinking too much. I just need to catch up on a good rest.
I find that another reason I am so tired, is from pushing myself so hard. I get up early every day, work, then take the kids out until late at night. I want them to enjoy their summer. I feel guilty while I'm at work so I try to make up for it when I get out. I take them to the pool, movies, library, geocaching, hiking, etc. By the end of each day I am exhausted. We enjoy spending time together and doing different things. Regardless of how tired it all makes me, I feel like I'm being a good mom!

Scary moment...

It's been too hot these last few days so instead of going to the pool I took the kids Geocaching (I'll explain in another post!) I figured we could run some errands and find some caches while tootling around in the a/c. After a quick grab at a Kohl's in NJ, we were pretty happy with ourselves. I drove through the parking lot aiming for the exit to go look for more. I was in the aisle doing about 30mph. While this is still too fast for the parking lot, there weren't any parked cars on either side of me. With my eyes focused forward, my son screams "Look out Mom!!!" I slammed on my brakes - the car took a nose dive as the ABS kicked in pumping the brakes for me. The bags in the car lurched forward and I saw my life flashing in front of me. A late model silver Honda Civic (I'm good with cars so I'm going to say it was a 2004-2006), license plate #PEB-44F with NJ plates had come barreling through from my blind spot on the left side cutting through the parking spaces and right in front of me. I was split seconds from taking out my whole front end, my kids and hitting her broadside. I've never been so scared in my life. I instantly felt a rush of emotion and anger all at the same time. My son saved all of our lives. I was looking forward and not all around as you should. Granted, she was 100% wrong because I had the right of way, but still, my children could have been seriously hurt. The really sad part of this story is that she didn't stop to see if what she had done had hurt anyone. I quickly glanced at her plate number immediately committing it to memory. In fact, I am hurt. I injured my neck last week but have been taking care of it. Now I have tingling from my neck into my back and down my arm. My kids are complaining of chest pains from where the seat belts locked. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do, but I will never forget this. I have never been in an accident before. I so desperately wish I could find out her information just to call her or write to her. All I want is an apology and admission of guilt. Where is her human decency? As a Christian mother, my children and I said a prayer and I know God will get her - even if he just makes her think about what she may have caused....

The topic no one wants to talk about...

That's right, our periods. The reoccurring monthly drama that goes on inside our bodies...then of course, outside too! It is the most natural thing to happen to a woman. Unfortunately it has also brought some stigma attached to it. Don't get me wrong, I am an avid feminist. I will quickly put any man in his place for assuming that when I'm in a bad mood, I must be "on the rag." With this thinking, I have also down-played my moods as always valid and nothing to do with my period. But sadly, for the last few months now, I have been tracking my moods along with my cycle. It is with great regret that I acknowledge that my pms has gotten the better of me. It starts 5 days before my period. I have no tolerance for stupidity or nonsense. I have no problem reminding everyone in my family about it either. I will put you in place and walk away without a second thought. Two days later I start to get bloated and crampy. I usually have symptoms of anxiety and depression also. This is when I think to myself (like I forget every month) "Oh maybe I got my period." Not yet. The day the big flow happens, I feel such a sense of relief and weight off my shoulders, I love my family all over again! This quick mood change is very tiring, so this first day - along with the heavy flow, I usually fall asleep early because my body just wants to quit. Days 2-5 are generally light and my mood has changed back to normal. Unfortunately, I also get a sense of guilt for screaming my head off so much. I chalk it up to my family's lack of support and move on!
As much as I hate to admit it, I suffer from pms. It does change the way I look and feel and how I treat others. I am still a strong woman, but Mother Nature has gotten the best of me! I will now show my strength by watching my cycle more closely and taking a proactive approach. I have been encouraged by other women to drink milk 5 days before my period. I will also start taking vitamins daily.
I vow to still retain my feminism but I think I am more empowered by sharing my experiences and tackling my obstacles.

trying to get on track

Finally my third job is over and I'm down to only two. I've been working six days a week and will continue to do so for the rest of this month. I feel guilty leaving the kids so as soon as I get home, I take them out. We've been out every afternoon this week and the fatigue is catching up with me. I've also had to put some of my routine chores off to the side. I like to stay organized and on top of things. So, by not having everything set up like clothes and meals for the week, I feel like my world is in disarray. I usually plan the week out on Sundays. I get the newspapers, clip the coupons, plan a shopping list for Friday and create a menu for the week. I also catch up on laundry so I can pick out clothes for the work week. Usually this only takes about 1-2 hours if I work straight through. Last weekend was a holiday so it threw off my whole schedule. So, not only am I at work today, but my mind is already racing on all the chores to catch up on. Weekends are great for relaxing and spending time with family, but it's always hard for me to rest when I feel like I have so much to do. Since it's nice out, my husband will spend time with the kids so I can focus on getting back on track.

I feel good...

Things are good at the moment. My parents, grandmother and in-laws are coming to visit tomorrow for my "baby's" 8th grade moving up ceremony! Time goes by so fast! Even with the hormones out of whack and the times I want to send him to the moon, I am really looking forward to tomorrow with a heavy heart. For the most part, we did a good job raising him. He has his moments but overall he has a good heart and spirit. I will definitely cry tomorrow, though I can't let him see me. I will be thinking of the cute words he couldn't pronounce at age 2, the first time he rode a bicycle and of course the day he was born. Tomorrow will be a good day!

So is life....

The end of the school year is proving to be more hectic than I imagined. My son has half days while he takes finals and my daughter is still on full days. This actually works out for me because he is home to get her off the bus for me. This allows me to put in a little extra time at work which of course means a little extra money! Next week will be a whole other issue when both kids have half days and the younger one will get home first. These half days are such a challenge for us working parents. Having to find last minute childcare is so difficult. I am very thankful for such a wonderful group of families in my community. We trade kids and help each other out. They used to say "it takes a village to raise a child." This is so true! Other moms have stressed the same sentiment. Working part time doesn't bring in enough money to pay for childcare for these half days. Sometimes it's hard to make the decision to work or stay home because it just doesn't pay. Regardless of these small problems, it's great that summer is beginning and the morning routines will be on hold for the next 8 weeks! Happy Summer everyone!

Don't judge me...

As I struggle with my teen and pre-teen children and lose my cool, please don't look down on me. Don't think to yourself that your children will never behave that way or talk to you like that. Unfortunately many will go through this same challenge and we need to find a way to accept eachother. I have found that when I talk to other moms I find that I am not alone. Our wonderful, beautiful, perfect children will talk to us with that "tone" that just gets under the skin. Many have admitted to "losing it" or just going bonkers on their children. Nothing crazy or life threatening, but yelling, or talking to the walls (because of course the walls are the only ones listening!)
The moms that look at me like I am crazy are the ones that think it will never happen to them. I feel a little evil in wishing I can be a fly on the wall WHEN it happens to them!

Summer

I still feel like a kid at this time of year, anticipating the end of school with late nights and late mornings! But unfortunately it's different as an adult. Work doesn't break for the summer - unless you're a teacher! Late nights no longer bring late mornings - they bring in groggy, tired, and cranky ones. I long for the innocence of youth each year at this time. I wish I treasured my freedom and lack of responsibilities back then. I constantly tell my children "I wish I were bored!"
I will make arrangements to change my work schedule to fit around my kids so that they can have an enjoyable summer even though I still have to work. It's not worth paying for camp on my part-time jobs. I've sent them to camp in summers past but now we just go to the community pool and hang out with various friends. They seem to enjoy our routine just as much, which is good for me!
Only a few weeks of school left!

Working mom (crazy mom)

ok, so I just acquired (paid) job number 3! I know it's insane but we could really use the money right now and it's only a temporary position - roughly 3 weeks. I have already started planning my girl scout meetings for next year and have volunteered to chair a fund-raising committee for the 5th grade. My daughter will be going into her last year of elementary school while my son will be entering his first year of high school. This will be the year where the older child gets home first - hence no more need for me to run home at 3:15 every day! Also, being that my last child will be in her last year, I feel I can help with as much activities as they will allow. My son (the older of the two) just spent the last three years in a middle school that was just so big you could barely find your way around! In middle school they don't need/want the parents around. So I figure this is my last chance! My resume just extended another page!

Perspective on life...

I recently said goodbye to a friend from my past. She was plagued by illness for a long time and I had no idea. The last time I saw her she was the same person I remembered - full of life, spirit and smiles. I've learned a lot about myself from attending her funeral. Live life to it's fullest, because you never know what tomorrow may bring. I have always tried to live this way, but you know, things get in the way! I don't want to take anyone for granted. I don't want to spend my life reaching for more so much that I can't appreciate what I have. She, in death, has inspired me to hold everyone close.
My new mission, or New Year's resolution is to reconnect with those I care about. I would really like to try and set aside time with all my "friends" on facebook. I have over 300 friends that I have crossed paths with at one time or another, but to call them "friends" I think I need to find a deeper meaning. I do care about what is going on in their lives, or else I wouldn't be so addicted to checking their status updates. I will do this as much as I can, whether it be to comment or get together. I want to live each day as if it were the last.
This is my tribute to Dana - or in better words - her legacy to us all.

How was your Mother's Day?

I think Mother's day should be spent with the people you love and care about and the ones that made you "MOM". This should be a day of family, food and rest. No cleaning, cooking, organizing, or preparing. Everyone else should at least take care of things for one day. Is it too much to ask? We work our butts off taking care of everyone and everything around us. One day won't hurt for us to kick back and get some much needed and well deserved pampering! I had originally planned to do absolutely nothing on Mother's day - except maybe go get my hair done. I had a new release book from the library, and had conquered all chores the day before. I started out the day with a cup of coffee handed to me when the phone rang. A friend was giving away 2 tickets to the Mets game that day. My 9 year old daughter had never been to a professional game and it had been awhile for me - so I said yes! I enjoyed the day with some mother/daughter bonding at Citi Field in Queens. Unfortunately the Mets lost, (I still love my '86 Mets) but we had a great time! Sometimes it's those spontaneous plans that create the most wonderful memories!

Too much...

I am getting very tired of my family taking advantage of me. They demand so much of me. I am a feminist and I believe that household chores are the responsibility of all the members in that household. If you wear clothes, then you can do laundry. If you eat, then you can clean up and do dishes. Don't ask me what I need you to do! If you don't have clean underwear then maybe you should wash some! That has nothing to do with me! They ask me where everything is, if we have something, what are our plans for the weekend, etc. I am not the keeper of all things possible - I don't keep inventory. I really feel that they would have no idea of what to do if I wasn't around.
I wish there was a reality show called "Runaway Mom" where the family is left to fend for themselves with mom to direct and keep order. I would go off for a relaxing weekend with no way to be reached. I am curious what would happen! Where can I sign up!!!
I know that it is partially my fault that they are so dependent on me. I take care of them and worry about them. I buy food not just for myself but for them. I do laundry for everyone. Somewhere, everyone stopped seeing chores that needed to be done and instead of letting them run out of clothes or food, I took over. It's all of our faults because they let me. Of, mom will do it. Mom has left the building!
I'm going to try an experiment. I will hide all to-do lists, calendars and schedules. I just have to figure out how to hide me so they can't come and ask. I need to somehow let them spread their wings and learn to be more independent without relying on them to not forget a recital, 60th birthday party or something else really important!

taking on too much...

My husband wants to kill me! Not literally, he's just tired of me accepting more things to do while knowing it stresses me out. I am the type of person that needs to be busy - a true TYPE A! But with all that comes stress. I have a hard time saying no. So, besides girl scouts, working two jobs, pta, housework, raising two children, home improvement projects, and writing online, I just accepted to chair another pta position for next year! I almost cringed when I told my husband. I know, I know it gets to be too much sometimes, but I also know that my involvement reaps great rewards. I have a wonderful community and everywhere I go, I run into someone I know. I have made many great friends with people that have crossed these many paths. I want to stay involved and active because there will come a time where the babies fly from the nest and won't need me as much anymore.

Living without medical insurance

My husband changed jobs recently in order to better himself and our family. Unfortunately with all of the benefits associated with this new job, the biggest downside is that we have to wait 3 months until his medical benefits kick in. This would be much easier to manage if we were a younger single couple without children. We have to beautiful healthy kids, but there is still so much worry that something will go wrong. I don't watch the news (because it's too depressing) so I don't know much about Obama's health plan. All I know is that we don't make enough money to pay for Cobra insurance and we make too much money to qualify for any type of discount medical insurance. So the only option we were left with was to ride out the 3 months without any coverage. So far it hasn't been that bad, but the sleepless nights or worry are taking it's toll. I try to just go day by day to forget about it and hope the three months passes quickly.

omg I've turned into my parents

Recently in the car, my son wanted to put on his ipod through the speakers for all of us to hear. He put on a song from a band called "Disturbed"...I didn't recognize it at first and so I asked him to change it to something we all knew and could enjoy...then - wait - I think I do know this song! My husband and I just looked at each other as it started to sink in. It was their version of "Land of Confusion" by Genesis! Lmao! My husband and I started cracking up and singing along only to our son's digust! Haha I had to tell him to "get his own music" just like my parent used to say to me!

Time to smell the roses.....

After a very long winter and some brutally cold days, my body has had enough. I find it very difficult to muster the energy to get things done. I think I have a case of the "winter blues." I'm always so tired, and blah feeling. I still function, because everyone knows - moms can't catch a break! I still go about my daily routines, cooking, cleaning, working two jobs, balancing and juggling - you know, all that stuff we do! But now I am ready for some change. I think it's time for Spring to come so I can regain my outdoor exposure (vitamin D from the sun too) and zest for life. I love gardening, and seeing the plants grow helps lift my spirits. Maybe I can start my seeds early...

Race to Nowhere

This is a film about the stress and pressure kids today have on them. They are stressed because testing, homework, pressure to perform, sleep deprivation, and then of course the usual fitting in. I strongly encourage everyone to see this film. You can find out more information on www.facebook.com/RaceToNowhere

Running around

Today was such a full day - as usual! I did my usual light housework before going to the "real" job (I mean the one that pays!) Then I ran straight to the elementary school to catch up on some PTA work. I then had just enough time to swing by the middle school to pick up my son. The two of us talked about the day as we went to pick up my daughter from a friends house. As soon as we got home, I shoved food down their throats so I could make a 7pm parent orientation meeting at the high school. I am finally home from work at 8:30pm! I am ready to collapse, but there is always more to do! I will look over the homework, make lunches for tomorrow, maybe do a load or two of laundry before actually turning in for the night. Then tomorrow I will do it all over again! G'night!

who takes care of mom when she's sick?

As mothers we are always taking care of the people around us, putting ourselves last. Every now and then we should stop everything and just take a break. As much as I believe this, I too am guilty of not taking time for me. Unfortunately it has taken the flu to stop me in my tracks. As sick as I feel, I am really enjoying watching movies all day in bed and having my family take care of me. It takes something drastic for me to get some rest. While this is not an ideal situation, it does have it's advantages. My body told me enough is enough and now I'm listening. It's also nice to see that my family is able to pick up the slack without complaints. I've taught them well and now I can sit back and make ME a priority!

so proud!

Well we found out today that our son got an 80 on his midterm in the subject that he wasn't doing well in. I gave him the praise he deserved for working and studying hard but I also had to mention that he could have done better had he put forth this effort all along! I didn't want to burst his bubble but I need him to know that we have faith in him and to point out to him that hard work pays off. I don't want spoiled children that think everything comes easy even when it sometimes does. For example, he can succeed in subject matter that interests him with little effort - but I still want him to give his all. I figure, you just have to know your child. I knew his weakness was time management, not the content. Taking away the electronics and putting the focus on school brought his grades up, but it's still a long process on getting him to be able to budget his own time. I get worried because high school is just around the corner!

midterms, homework and snow days - oh my!

What a crazy winter this is in the East! I've never doubted the Farmers Almanac until now! This was supposed to be a mild winter but we are experiencing a substantial snow storm every week! The kids think it's great but I'm already juggling work and activities and helping my 13 year old get back on track with his school work. Every time there is a delayed opening, early dismissal or full day school closure, it disrupts the constant flow I'm trying to maintain. How are parents supposed to run out of work at a moments notice because all of a sudden the school decides to send the kids home early? Most companies don't close because of snow so it leaves us employees stuck. To make matters worse, since I'm a part-time employee, I don't get paid when I don't work. I don't get personal, vacation or sick days to use for school dismissal emergencies. What is a parent to do?

What to do when your child....

I am struggling with my 13 year old in teaching time management. He is a very smart kid, has the potential to be a straight A student - but only when he cares enough to put effort into his work. This is his last year of middle school and he's blowing it. I have taken away all electronics and limited after school activities and then he starts to do well again. After some time of consistent effort shown, I will slowly give back privileges. My problem is that I hate is that punishment only seems to temporarily solve the problem, what he needs is to learn balance. He needs to learn how to prioritize and to make school top priority. Any suggestions?

Struggling Marriage...

With the kids getting older and demanding more of your time, it's hard to put much focus on your marriage. Many couples resort to date nights, where they get a night out without any interruptions. I'm curious if these date nights actually work being that it's scheduled and repetitive. I would think more spontaneity would be more welcome in a family where the kids' schedules dictate your lives. Who knows?

Battling the insurance company....

On a weekend day, my son came down with strep throat. He was miserable! The trip to the after-care doctor went smoothly, they called in a prescription to the pharmacy close to home that we have used for years. This is where the nightmare began! My husbands insurance through his job requires a HUGE family deductible before the employer starts paying. We met that ridiculous deductible by using a flexible spending account. Any time we needed to pay for co-pays or prescriptions we used our flexible spending account card (fsa). So what is supposed to happen next is that the employers contribution card kicks in. But of course, on a weekend it didn't kick in. My option was to fight with the company who holds the card or pay out of pocket $127.00!!!! So I opted to try and fight the company for an hour or two. You can't get through to a live person - you have to leave a message. Eight messages later, no one called back. We finally decided that we needed to scrounge up the money to pay out of pocket then fight for reimbursement later. Go to the pharmacy - they are closed! Figures! Called the insurance company and prescription company (yes they are separate) and tried to get the prescription at another pharmacy.....strings, strings, strings! They would have to void out the first prescription because it was filled already (yeah like I'm really in the market for a double dose of antibiotics!). Then we would have to call the pediatrician to call in another prescription at another pharmacy. Oh wait, we have to find one that's open on Sunday at 9pm! Then we would have to call the prescription company back for approval, and so on and so forth. We we literally on the phone for more than 5 hours - and sadly nothing can get done until 8am Monday morning. Do these big companies care that my son feels terrible? No they don't.